One of the many things I’ve struggled with during the past couple of years has been handling time. It’s inevitable that I get to the end of my day without realizing what I’ve really accomplished. It’s very frustrating. I try to figure out the best way to go about my time usage but with little results.

Something I have been successful with is identifying the time wasters in my day. They can range from email to surfing the web to people interruptions in person or on the phone to the door bell or package delivery man. Some of those things are inevitable and the only way out is to make sure that I’m spending as little time as possible on extras inside those tasks. So if I get an unexpected phone call, I can try to find out quickly what the person wants and resolve the task then move get back to what I’m doing. It sounds easy doesn’t it?

Just the other day I got a call from a friend while I was in the middle of an important task. I contemplated not answering it but figured I’d have to call them back anyway so I took the call. It turned out that this friend was having a horrific day and I was able to listen to them and comfort them even though I didn’t say much. It was a call that was worth every minute to my friend. But I hung up a little frustrated after having spent close to an hour on the phone and getting further behind on my tasks.

It wasn’t until later that I had a profound insight: I got an email from that friend thanking me for helping make their day a little better. What better thing could I have done than cheer up a friend? Mother Teresa said (and I’m paraphrasing), “Make sure when you leave someone that you leave them better than you found them.” While I am a task list person, and in fact I often consider myself “the list”, I couldn’t help but find this insight very comforting. Do we need to get it all done? Most of it, yes. All of it? Highly unlikely.

Take a look at your biggest disappointments in your life thus far. I guarantee that most if not all of them have something to do with people. Maybe it’s an intimate relationship with a spouse or “significant other.” Maybe it’s something to do with one of your children or a close friend. It probably has nothing to with you wishing you would have spent more time at the office or with your customers.

We have to learn to live life from the view point of the future. Keeping your future in mind without ignoring the present or learning from the past is the way to control your time. Because if you do that you’ll be able to keep your focus on what’s important. So the real question is not “Why can’t I master my time?” The real question is “What’s the most important thing I can be doing with my time right now and with who?”